Create. Heal. Inspire.

Soft Courage: 4 Steps to Manifestion

I cried tears of joy yesterday. I was pulling up to get my hair cut, still on the phone with a dear friend of mine, telling him about a recent experience I had with a new lover.

I wasn’t telling him details – it wasn’t that kind of call. Instead I was regaling him about how incredible it feels to take a risk and to exercise courage in order to get the love and sex I want.

Why is this so important to me?

It wasn’t because I was raised in a shame-based paradigm where sex was a sin and never talked about, except under the most uncomfortable and un-fun circumstances. It wasn’t because every time I reached out to people I was attracted to I was met with ungodly guilt and shame as a result of growing up with so much fear and shame around my own sexuality.

I was flabbergasted because this person is exactly the type of lover who I’ve been wanting to attract into my life.

Warning: I’m going to get really new-agey here! This is the last stop to get off if you’re too square to sit with us on the magic bus.

You still here?

Ok, cool, it’s just us circles now. Check it out:

I imagined exactly the type of lover that I wanted. She would have very specific characteristics, be interested in very specific experiences, have a certain schedule, have certain communication skills, etc. I imagined this from a place of innocence and wonder, as if asking my inner child what it is that he really wants. No judgement, no guilt. I put myself in the place of connecting with this person and felt the feelings that I would feel naturally in different situations with this lover. Keep in mind that this was not a specific person in my mind at this point – it was a set of specific traits.

This is the most chilling manifestation I’ve had the distinct pleasure of co-creating (that time I manifested goat cheese was pretty cool, but c’mon – a sexy new lover is way cooler)

I used the word “flabbergasted” to describe the situation to my friend on the phone because it was about as close to describing the absolutely uncanny specificity with which this new lover arrived as I could get without living through the experience of finding her again. I don’t have a nickname for her yet. Maybe if she’s reading this post she’ll let me know 😉

Manifestation as a 4 part process

1st part: Program it
I would connect with my innocent self, imagine the traits of this lover, and really work on how I felt about it. I would refine and refine and get that emotion super loud, and connect with it as often as I wanted (the more often the better).

It’s not enough to just think about it. You have to charge it with emotion. And emotion is never something that you can fake. Ok, you can be a shakespearean actor about it, but your subconscious knows if you genuinely truly want something with your heart. Stop trying to manifest things that you think you need, and start spending time manifesting the people things and experiences that you know you’d love to enjoy. 

2nd part: Patience

You have to be so detached from the process of manifestation that you could easily forget about it in your day to day. It can be difficult especially if what you’re trying to manifest is something you really want! Don’t worry about it, don’t try to force it. If you feel like you need to do something about it, spend some time getting into the feeling that you’d exude when receiving it. But make sure that you’re not charging it with the emotion of not having it!

It can be kind of confusing at first, especially if you’re someone who may not have stellar emotional awareness. This is why yoga is so helpful – it helps to calm the body and mind while at the same time increasing the ease and quickness of processing emotions.

So be patient with the universe as it conspires to bring your exactly what you desire, and have fun! The next step is…

3rd part: Courage

You have to have the courage to try something new. Think about this: if in our current vibrational state we weren’t receiving that which we desire, it makes sense – using the law of attraction – that in order to attract that which we do desire, we must shift our vibrational state. What does this shift require?


Courage is always required to shift into a new way of being.

How does that make you feel? Check your energy. What is your emotional response to reading this?

Maybe you consider yourself to be courageous, maybe not. If you don’t (like I did for a long time, until I shifted my definition of courage), you may find my experience interesting.

I already knew that courage was required to get what you want. With this lover, I didn’t use any creative pickup lines, seduction tricks, or manipulation. I did what felt right, which was getting to know her as a person and friend first, and then I shifted into asking if I could kiss her when the mood and time and place was right.

That’s it. It required courage but it was more of a soft courage than what I used to consider to be courage. I used to consider courage to ONLY be a loud, boisterous, dominant kind of thing. Now I realize courage can be both loud and soft. While these aspects come out of me from time to time, it’s not coming from a place of needing to prove anything. I’m glad to be over that one.

4th Part: Adjusting

I’m not going to over-glamorize this: getting what you want can hurt. You will be presented with myriad opportunities to fall back into your previous, more comfortable albeit undesirable vibrational state. Don’t do it! Adjustment entails letting your consciousness get used to feeling how you feel when you have what you desire.

For me it means feeling all the feelings involved with my new partner: glee, apprehension, joy, certain amounts of latent shame that come up: all of it. These feelings are a result of the new creation in your life. If you stuff the emotions or block them or medicate them away, you are simply telling the universe that you can’t handle what you want. Maybe you can’t, alone, so it’s helpful to reach out to your network of support in times like these. You have been building a network of support, haven’t you? This is a network of people that you support and encourage who also support and encourage you. Let’s live and love and grow together!!

Try it out!
Manifesting was kind of a casual hobby for me initially, and I would get frustrated easily because I hadn’t cleared a lot of emotional blocks that can get in the way. What I love about it is that it requires me to confront the parts of myself that are scared and hurt, and heal them. Because I value growth and development so much, manifestation is quickly turning from a casual interest into a deeper and more impactful process.

What are your questions about manifesting? What have you tried? What’s worked for you, and what hasn’t? Let me know! Comment!

Peace, and happy manifesting.



Resistance, Planning, and the Happiness Advantage


Feeling Super Vulnerable…


  1. Hope Here

    There should be a Manifest Festival!!

  2. Billie

    Wow. Wowwzeers.great stuff Mr.man

  3. Billie

    WOW, great stuff Mr. Man

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